What Am I Afraid Of?

Hearing about this week’s unspeakable tragedy on the heels of so many others over the past few months and years, created a universal state of panic and fear.

Each of us knows we will die one day. But we fool ourselves into thinking that those who die belong to a separate sector of humanity. "They are the mortal ones. We are immortal." Underneath it all, we have this illusion.

Did you ever have a friend who died suddenly? How did you react? "But I just talked to him yesterday! He can't really be dead. He was so full of life!"

What does that mean – "It can't be"? What we're really saying is that it's too close for comfort. I'm not in the mortal group. And now my friend is dead. That's too close. It can't be.

When someone we know dies unexpectedly, we feel our own sense of vulnerability. It makes us think, "Am I using my time efficiently?"

And that´s scary.

Fear of consequences can be a great motivator in getting a job done quickly and efficiently. But fear can also be dangerous when it´s used negatively. When we perceive God as a threat, our fear is egotistical, producing unfavorable results.

So what exactly is positive fear?

 We are given two different commandments about the way we must relate to God.

1.  We’re obligated to LOVE Him.

2.  We’re obligated to FEAR Him.

Contrary to popular belief, the emotions of LOVE and HATE are not opposites. There are too many similarities between the two, and they both stem from the same source.

The opposite of love, is fear.

Really?! Who am I to contradict so many decades of movies and love songs?

Well, when I love someone, I want to be as close to the object of my love as possible. When I fear something, I want to be as far away from the object of my fear as possible.

They are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

So, how can we be obligated to relate to God with two opposite emotions, simultaneously?

If you were to forget the birthday of someone you barely know it would hardly be considered a crime. But forgetting the birthday of your best friend, or spouse, may be reason for capital punishment.

A husband who forgot his wife’s birthday will be afraid to put his key in the door after work that day. Why? Is he afraid she’ll come pouncing at him and whack him on the head with a frying pan?

I don´t think so. 

It’s because he’s afraid of disappointing her.

THE MORE YOU LOVE SOMEONE, THE MORE AFRAID YOU ARE OF UPSETTING THEM.

So, in reality, LOVE and FEAR go hand in hand.

The unity of these two emotions is called AWE. ´Awesome´ has become a slangy word for ´amazing´ in our era, but it´s really deeper than that. 

‘Awe’, on one hand, is an experience so powerful that it's paralyzing. On the other hand, we know awe to be extremely exhilarating. Capturing a ‘WOW moment’, like witnessing the power of a hurricane, hearing tragic news, being spared an accident, or being in the presence of a political or cultural leader, can have a lasting effect on us.

Awe helps release you from the limits of the body. You are suddenly in a world of different dimensions, transported into the eternity of beauty, power, majesty. You've got an expanded perspective. It's no longer me versus you. We're all one.

Awe carries us beyond ourselves. In times of war and tragedy – as well as prosperity and joy – people get "bigger." They treat each other nicer. Pettiness and anger are forgotten.

But the reaction to an awesome experience can go either way. Will I allow the ´wow moment´ to make me feel insignificant and small, or will I merge with the greater whole and release its positive energy?

This decision will lead me either to experience depression, or inspiration.

Depression is the result of the emphasis on fear, while inspiration is derived from the aspect of love.

The key is to round out the ends of the spectrum, causing love and fear to march through life holding hands.

When we hear about terrible tragedies occurring, not only are we shocked and full of questions, but we develop a new level of fear. Relating to God with fear becomes increasingly easier than relating to Him with love, thereby leading us to depression and despair.

It’s all about mastering fear.

The Hebrew word yirah, means both to ‘fear’, and to ‘see’.

The way to become the person I want to be, I must master my fear. Not just my claustrophobia, or my fear of heights, but also my fear of failure, of success, of life, and of death.

And that means ‘seeing’ life from an expanded perspective.

It means having an awareness that comes from understanding, derived from realization. It means ´seeing´ things that are not obvious, referring to a deep level of understanding.

A world that runs randomly, without rhyme or reason, a world without control, is a world with no questions and no expectations. It´s also a world without love.

When I ask 'why'?, when I´m afraid of what's coming next, I'm confirming that my world is run by a God, Whom, by definition is 100% Just.

By being Just, He rewards every single act, as well as punishes every single act. Nothing goes unaccounted for. No one is forgotten.

What frightens me is His love for me.

Knowing that there is a master plan in this world, both generally and personally, and that I´m only responsible to strive for perfection, but not to reach it, and that my only responsibility in life is the effort, not the result, regardless of my determination… is the way I master my fear.   

I can never be a failure if the results don´t belong to me.

I never have to worry or be anxious, since life´s burdens are not on my shoulders.

I know that whatever happens in the world, God makes that decision out of love for me. I don´t have to understand it, nor do I have to like it. If I understood God´s intentions, or if I was let in on the secrets of the universe, they wouldn´t be secrets anymore, and God wouldn´t be much of a God. I certainly would´t want to take over.

The energy we get from fear can be harnessed for positive purposes. It doesn´t have to be restricting.

Fear is power and freedom.

Fear helps me do what's right, not what society thinks is right.

Fear is an exercise in free will.

Fear allows me to feel the thrill of life 100 percent of the time.

Fear can be used as a motivator for greatness.

Exactly like love.

Therefore, when I concretize awesome experiences and take control of my fear, when I actualize my potential, it leads me to love life, to love God, to love my friends, and eventually, to love my enemies.

Tragedies awaken us. They inspire us to face our mortality, wipe out pettiness, relinquish dilusional control, calm our anxiety, and make the most efficient use of our time by living life to its fullest.