Life´s A Game Of Memory

Recently, I was shopping in a department store in New york. In the 'beauty section', someone who probably doesn't consider herself much of a teacher, taught me a very important lesson. 

A big, broad African American woman (whose name, mind you, was Shwarma) was looking at the perfumes and body lotions, when her 8 year old son (whose name was probably Chummus) yelled excitedly, "Hey, mom! Look, they got chocolate scented body lotion and perfume- why don't you get 'em chocolate smelling stuff?" To which she wisely responded, "Sonny, I like to eat chocolate, I don't like to wear chocolate".

 

Avraham Avinu experienced and overcame ten difficult tests in his lifetime. This is in addition to all the regular, daily hardships that all human being´s face. If he had only passed nine, according to chaza"l, he would've come up short in his personal balance.

 

 Doesnt that seem a little harsh? And even unfair?

At the time of the tenth nisayon, personal test, he was 137 years old, (ad meah v'esrim). What had he accomplished so far in his lifetime?

He founded Monotheism, he created a religion, he fought off the whole world- and won, he was mekarev everyone who passed his way, he revolutionized the world... just to name a few. How many of us successfully finish even one of these projects? How many of us even start? And yet, if he had stopped at the age of 137 and not passed his last test he would not have fulfilled his mission in this world!

 

By the akeida, the tenth test, an angel called out from heaven "Avraham Avraham".

The Yalkut Shimoni explains what the repetition of the name is for. He says that there are two Avraham's. Avraham l'eila and Avraham l'sata. A heavenly Avraham and an earthly Avraham.

Finally, at the age of 137, the angel was informing him that the earthly Avraham matched the heavenly Avraham, and that he has fulfilled his mission in life.

 

When a child is born, he's created with two images. An earthly image, the person we see and know, and a heavenly image-  the person we can become. Our goal in life is to get these two images to meet and match.

 

OK, cool. 

So how do I begin playing this game of Memory? How can I find my heavenly match?

 

There's a famous chaza"l:  

Kol Hamekayem nefesh achas b'Yisrael, k'eelu kiyam olam malei, whoever saves or stabilizes one soul in Yisrael, it's like he has saved the whole world.

What is this, a 'yo mama' joke? Yo mama's so big that if you save her it's like saving the whole world?

There has to be a deeper meaning to this, other than it just being poetic and emotional.

 

Each person is his own 'olam', his own inner world.  This world refers to each individual´s unique talents, personality, emotional make-up, and spiritual inclinations.  It's a complex universe in there. It's sensitive, fragile, vulnerable and powerful. It's made up of emotional, physiological, physical, psychological, and many other elements.

These qualities are inborn and natural.

 

I once heard Rabbi Leib Keleman explain the two types of personality traits each person owns:

A- Moral / Immoral traits.

B- Amoral traits.

 

The 'A' category are things in our character that are changeable. 

For example: A person can increase their potential for altruism, kindness, patience...and a person can uproot traits like selfishness, cruelty, anger...

 

The 'B' category are things that are immutable. For example: Artistic or mathematical inclinations. They cannot change. Although we can recognize and channel whatever artistic potential that is within us, we cannot become something or someone that we're not.

 

A few years ago I bought a bottle of shampoo. It didn't take long to realize that the bottle was not waterproof. Every time it got wet the red and blue ink on the bottle melted down the sides and into my fingernails. After a few uses, I was no longer able to read the company of the shampoo, or the directions on it. I just kept hoping I was using it right. 

Now, why would someone make a bottle of shampoo in a container that's allergic to water?

That container should've been used for cookies. Not for shampoo.

 

There is a significant something that each person was created for. The way to success is by using the tools that we have; not by trying to use the tools that we want, but were not given.

Trying to be someone or something we're not, instead of focusing on our own qualities is the greatest recipe for failure. 

 

All the traits we were gifted are neutral, and therefore they can be geared toward the positive or the negative. Disagreeable ones can be replaced by desireable ones, and unrecognized traits of quality can be directed and developed.

 

Example 'A': Selfishness can be turned to altruism. Anger, to patience, and cruelty to kindness.

 

Example 'B': A person has a tendency to bloodshed... he can either become a murderer... or a doctor. Or a shochet. Or a mohel.

A person born with hyperactivity.... can either be very destructive, or he can be a highly productive individual. 

 

A person's traits and how he utilizes them constitute his "world", and bears witness in the next world as to how he realized his potential and individual talent.

 

This is man's obligation... and according the Mesilas Yesharim, his mission in life.

 

This is the only way for his two images to become one.

 

Now, we might understand why the famous song-- I mean mishne -- says: Kol Yisrael yaish lahem chelek... L'olam habah... everyone in Yisrael has a portion TOWARD the world to come...

 

Should'nt it say "in" the world to come? (B'olam habah?)

 

No. Because although we each have a portion, it's not a preexisting place sitting and waiting for us. We have to create it for ourselves. I create mine, and you create yours.  

 

We gain Olam Habah by working towards it. By recognizing our own inner world and working until our two worlds meet.

 

That's what happened with Avraham Avinu. Yes, he accomplished a whole lot in his life. 

But sometimes, we not only have to focus on what we've done... but also on what we haven't done. 

Cuz maybe there are some more of our talents that need to be utilized.

 

So, Shwarma was right. She told Chummus that chocolate is for eating, and not for wearing.

 

Every individual has a particular purpose in this world. We can each accomplish that special something that no one else can. 

But, we can only work towards it by understanding who we are and not by trying to be someone we're not.

 

¨Be yourself. Everyone else is taken¨

 

Have a beautiful shabbos,

 Yaffa

The Danger Of a Birthday Gift

So, Avraham wins the war (between the four kings and five kings) and as a due and just reward, he's offered to take whatever he desires from the booty. Surprisingly, Avraham turns everything down. I cannot believe I´m actually related to him. Who turns down free stuff?
 
He said ¨Im michut v´ad seroch naal¨, not even a string or a shoelace.
 
I don´t understand. These gifts technically belong to him. He could take and use anything he wants. And yet, he declined. If the Torah had not documented the explicit details of his bris milah, I would have serious doubts about his Jewishness right now...
 
What´s even more peculiar, is that there's a very wise man who believes Avraham´s actions are an ideal to strive towards. Actually, he´s the wisest man that ever lived. Shlomo Hamelech tells us in his classic sefer, mishlei:
¨Sonei Matanos Yichyeh¨, he who hates gifts, shall live. 
 
Digest.

What?!?! No more Chanukah presents? No more birthday gifts? (Don't show this to grandma!)

What does all this mean? What's the connection between receiving gifts, and living?
There must be a difference between what we know as being alive and living.

Avraham has a few nicknames. Avraham Avinu, Ish  Hachessed, and Avraham Haivri.
 
The first two are clear. But what does Ivri mean?
 
Rashi helps us with that. ¨Shehu meever echad, v´kol haolam kulo meever hasheni¨, he stands on one side, and the whole world stands on the other.
 
No, he was not in New Zealand while the rest of mankind was in Alaska.
 
He was independent.
 
Are you Independent? Am I independent? 
What does independence even mean? Does it mean living in America? Staying out late without a curfew? Dying your hair purple?
If you consider yourself independent, you're entitled to understand the true meaning of INDEPENDENCE.


There are two types of independence.
#1- Physical Independence. Ex: A slave, or a prisoner who is freed.
#2- Independence of mind. Ex: The freedom to think.

The Gemorah in Brachos describes a conversation between Klal Yisrael and Hashem. In this discussion, we're admitting that our main desire is to serve Hashem and do His will, but there are two obstacles which interfere and block us from doing Ratzon Hashem:

EXTERNAL INFLUENCES- The influence that seeps in from the other nations, due to our close living quarters and sharing boundaries with them.
INTERNAL INFLUENCES- The monster  inside of us. For those of us who are on first name basis with him, he's the Yetzer Horah. Our passions, desires...


Who was Avraham? He, alone, after contemplating, rationalizing and analyzing, resolved the ultimate: He discovered God. He founded Monotheism. He revolutionized the world.
 He threw away his emotions, his philosophies, his dreams, to fulfill the desire of God. And all this, by going completely against the rest of the world. Defying all his neighbors, all his friends, all his teachers... for what? To pursue the truth. He was able to stand up with confidence to make, what he believed, were the right choices.

True Independence means The ability to do the right thing. No matter what.

Defying your family, community, or friends by "doing my own thing" is, ironically, contrary to what we believe it to be.
 
A teenager seeking independence who rebels by pursuing dangerous activities, by getting hooked on norcotics, body piercings, tattoos, or by any other attempt at being ´different´, is, in essence, completely dependent on his desires, on his drugs, or on the need for others´approval and acceptance. These pursuits are based on precisely the two obstacles preventing true independence, and therefore causing true dependence:  Internal desires, and external pressures.

Doing my own thing and doing the right thing, are actually two very different statements.

Avraham displayed a life of independence. He succeeded in conquering both obstacles:

EXTERNAL- He searched for the truth, analyzed it, and had the courage to say NO. Amidst tremendous opposing forces, he established Monotheism.
INTERNAL- The extent of his love for his son Yitzchok is unfathomable. And yet, he freed himself from his emotions and brought him to the Akaida.
Avraham reached the highest possible level of spiritual independence.

Shlomo Hamelech is teaching us that, INDEPENDENCE IS LIFE!  
Life is, The power of doing what you want to do.

Ok. You can stop scrolling down now, you've reached the part that interests you.

When given a gift, the receiver becomes enslaved to the giver. Henceforward, he is obligated to him. He owes him. And therefore, he loses his independence.
 
To be alive, is to be independent.
 
Had Avraham accepted the gifts, even though he was deservant of them, he would have lost his independence. By becoming obligated to them, he may have to repay the favor to them eventually. That pay-back might cause him to have to go against his ideals or lower his standards in some way. Avraham Haivri just couldnt do that. It's not worth it. He wants to live.

The Gemorah in Sota writes that the reason we were given the two mitzvos of tefillin and tzitzis, is because of the words Avraham used: michut- a string, (tzitzis) and seroch naal- a shoelace, (tefillin).
Because Avraham is fighting for independence, Hashem gave us the power to be independent.

How do tzitzis and tefillin assist in our quest for independence?
 
I'm sure you've all been in the airport and seen a Jewish man swaying in talis and tefillin, causing not such silent whispering by every Asian and Hispanic traveler. 
I'm sure you've all passed a basketball court and seen Yeshiva bachurim dribbling away with tzitzis  flappin in the breeze.
 
The tefillin will "be seen by the nations and fear you". The wearing of tefillin portrays independence against the external influences.
 
The tzitzis are to remind us "not to pursue the desires of our hearts...".  The wearing of tzitzis portrays independence against the internal influences.
 
Being Jewish means being independent.
Being independent means being alive.
 
"You need to stand for something, or you'll fall for everything".
 
Have a beautiful shabbos!
Yaffa
 

Spiritual Egotism

PSA:

Based on my facebook newsfeed and Pinterest page over the past few days, it seems there may be a shortage of food coloring in the stores next week. Rainbow cakes, cookies, challah, and salads have taken over the internet and shabbos tables for parshas Noach.

I apologize to the people in my home for my lack of creativity and cuteness, but I am not making anything rainbow or animal related this week, as I´m still traumatized from the 20 meals I hadda cook on sukkos. Oh, wait. Tomorrow´s cholent has been sponsored by a cow. Does that count?

Noach and Avraham were both the spiritual leaders of their generations. They each had a similar value system and an identical goal in life.

Yet,while Avraham was a magnet of goodness and positivity, Noach was alienating. 

I have always found that some leaders are able to transmit their knowledge and ideas to a welcoming audience, and are able to connect well with the public, while some are not. At all. 

When a person decides to be a leader, he would likely understand that the world is larger than himself. Knowing who you are and where you wanna go is a great awareness to have if  you want to reach your goal. But for a leader, an influential director, that´s not enough. It´s about guiding THE PEOPLE toward that awareness, and helping THEM get to where they want to be.

Avraham and Noach had different definitions of being a leader.

Noach is called by the medrash, ¨tzaddik beparva¨, a tzaddik in a coat.

Say, Noach was teaching a room full of people, when the temperature suddenly dropped. Everyone was freezing. Someone runs up to him and hands him $100 for a coat so that he can teach comfortably. Noach marches off to buy the coat and resumes.

Everyone else is also cold? Nu, life is hard.

Fast forward 10 generations to Avraham. He´s teaching a room full of people, when suddenly the temperature dropped. Everyone was freezing. Someone runs up to him and hands him $100 for a coat so that he can teach more comfortably. Avraham marches off...and comes back with matches and firewood to warm up the room for everyone.

This is precisely the difference between them.

Noach spent 120 years building the ark. 120 years! Do you know how many people he has met during those years? How come he was not able to be a positive influence on even ONE of them? Why has he not been able to teach his ideology and beliefs to even one member of his society?
While Avraham brought countless people with him on his spiritual journey through life, Noach sorely lacked that ability and failed to bring even one.

Spiritual Egotism. When you only care about YOUR spirituality, but no one else´s.

Noach was a good man. He was moral. He was ethical. He was hardworking. But he had no interest in his neighbor´s well being.

The preeminent factor in having any sort of influence on anyone, in being able to help anyone, or in being a good teacher, leader, or friend, is to actually care about them. To really care.

The world is so much bigger than ourselves, and we all have the power to influence the people in it in some way.

All we have to do is care about them. That´s all.

Have a beautiful shabbos, full of rainbows and glitter and unicorns.

Thanx for Stating the Obvious

Aaaaaaand, WE´RE BACK!
Thank you for all your concern, encouragement, pressure and threats...and a big apology to each of you individually, for not having been at your shabbos tables over the summer...
No excuse is good enough, so I won´t even go there.
Please accept my apology, and I hope to be worthy of winning my readers back.

Every year Parshas Ki Savo falls out right before Rosh Hashana. Could there be a connection between the two?

The parsha this week teaches us about the mitzva of Bikurim- taking the first fruit of the harvest as an offering to Hashem.

 The medrash  connects the ´taking the first of the fruit´ to the beginning of all time- the creation of the world.  It writes that the world was created in the merit of the mitzva of bikurim.
Wait. Say what? What does that even mean? The whole entire world, full of people and trees and stars and ice cream and shoes... all in the merit of balancing a basket of fruit on top of your head while playing a trumpet?!

There has got to be a significant part of the mitzva that we are not aware of.

There's another medrash tanchuma that says that Moshe saw through ruach haKodesh that the Bais Hamikdash, holy temple will be destroyed in the future and that the first fruits will terminate. So in order to preserve this mitzva in whatever way possible, he arose and instituted prayer 3 times a day.
This is fascinating. There were many things that were involved in the temple service that he could've been afraid of losing and needed prayer to replace them with. But, clearly there was something special in the mitzvah of Bikurim which Moshe felt a need to safeguard and institute something to connect us to God in the same way Bikurim does.

The Shem M'Shmuel quotes a Zohar based on our medrash above: Only because of Divine kindness do they merit all this and dwell in the land. God brought them into the land and gave them all these great things, and they give the fruits of the bikurim to the Kohanim because they represent the kindness of Hashem.

Ok, now in English.
The function of this commandment is to create awareness and affirmation that our existence within the land of Israel has nothing to do with the merit of the land itself, but only because God has given it to us as an act of kindness. We received it in the grace of God.
This is akin to the purpose of the creation of the world. The very first words in the Torah are "B'raishis Barah Elokim..." B'Raishis- because of the first, Barah Elokim... For the merit of the first fruits of Bikurim, Hashem created the world.

The world was created and all of mankind was made by the chessed of God alone.  The Ramban informs us that the intention of all the mitzvos is to believe in God and concede that He created us.

Now, I know you´re all thinking I should get with the program and stop stating the obvious. Not recognizing God as our Creator is so 6,000 years ago. We all believe in God. We all know He created the world and everything in it. So why am I boring you with ideas you already know?

Actually, I have the same question about our obligation to say the Shema three times a day. Isn´t once a day sufficient? How often do I need to proclaim the Oneness of God? Am I an idiot that I forget after once a day?
No, this has nothing to do with my IQ. It´s about the challenge of being able to know something in our heads without necessarily feeling it in our hearts.

¨V´yaddata hayom¨, know it today... But that´s not all. ¨V´hashaivosa el levavecha¨, and bring it into your heart.
Knowing something intellectually, is easy. But bringing it into your heart is a whole nother thing. The power of repetition is what helps us feel God, and not just know Him.

One of the biggest illusions in life is kochi vótzem yadi, my accomplishments are because of my own power.  
Of course we wouldn´t be successful or responsible without own effort, skills and talents. But without God´s constant involvement and Will, none of it would happen. He´s involved in every aspect of our lives.

When we enter our fields and notice all the new fruits that had ripened, we can think "Look at my wonderful produce. Look what an agricultural genius I am..."  
Instead, we need to look around at the field and notice the incredible generosity of Hashem, the kindness He bestowed upon me by allowing me to have these fruits in my land, and therefore I´ll consecrate them for Him. 

It's all because of Him. 

This act of Bikurim is an identification of the whole purpose of the world. To recognize and understand, and to act upon that understanding that the world, and everything we have in life, is but a gift from God.

So what´s the connection between our fruits, and Rosh Hashana? Is it the apple? 
It´s more than the apple. It´s the core. [insert snort] 

The pinnacle of Rosh Hashana is Malchuyos- the declaration of the solitary kingship of God.

 "Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li"... I am to my Beloved and My Beloved is to me. This is a relationship of love between us and God. An expression of how much He gives us. The mitzvah of Bikurim allows us to reflect upon the boundless chessed we receive constantly- day in and day out, from God, Himself.

Next time I notice something good in my life, I´m gonna stop for a moment and appreciate Who gave it to me. Maybe I'll even take out a siddur and say a few words to Him- hence the institution of prayer. 
And, when we pour our hearts out this Rosh Hashana, try this attitude:  
Don't tell Hashem how big your problems are... tell your problems how big Hashem is. 

 Have a great shabbos!

Sinning...For The Sake Of Heaven?

Rabbi Chaim of Brisk once said about zealousness: Both a housewife and a cat want to destroy mice. The sole difference lies in their attitudes. The housewife really wants to be rid of them. The cat, however, wants the mice to be there to attack them.

  

Pinchas acted zealously in this week's Torah portion to stop a public display of immorality.

 

When Pinchas killed Zimri and Kosbi, a tremendous controversy erupted among the people as to whether his actions were correct or murderous. This week's parsha begins with G-d "testifying" to the correctness of what Pinchas did. 

First, because of what Pinchas did, he stemmed the plague that had broken out and was killing multitudes.  Second, the Torah repeatedly identifies Pinchas as the grandson of Aharon HaKohen.

 

 From Law and Order and NYPD, to CSI and NCIS, the people of our generation can indefinitely figure out a way to commit murder without getting caught. The story of Pinchas’ crime would have made a great episode. He could’ve gotten away with it. But he didn’t. He openly confessed. Why did he do it? And why did he admit it?

 

The motives of the zealot who takes unilateral action are extremely important, for his very qualifications as a zealot hinge upon the question of what, exactly, prompted him to do what he did. Is he truly motivated to "still G-d's wrath", or has he found a holy outlet for his individual aggression? Is his act truly an act of peace, driven by the desire to reconcile an errant people with their G-d, or is it an act of violence, made kosher by the assumption of the label "zealot"?

 

And this leads us to the concept of Aveira Lishma. A sin in the name of heaven. 

 

This concept is more than just doing an immoral act with proper motive. It's not just about breaking the speed limit to rush someone to the emergency room. It's a whole lot more.

 

Technically, one should be repulsed by  loshon harah. But suddenly there’s a scandal involving their neighbor, or even their Rav, and the loshon harah starts pouring out. “It’s l’shem shamayim!” No it’s not. That’s not kanaut, zealousness. That’s their bad middos waiting for an opportunity to come out. 

 

Another example of mistaken Aveira Lishma; Cheating the government. “I’m allowed to. I learn in Kollel! It’s L’shem shamayim!”

 No it’s not. Speaking against certain schools, institution, rabbanim….Getting involved in community politics, creating machlokes…

We think it’s an Aveira lishma. Most of the time it’s not. It’s about my ego.

 

There is a mishne in Pirkei Avos “ Hevei Boreach min haAveira” One must run away from a sin.  

The only word that comes to mind here is  Duh!  I was expecting something a little more profound from the mishne. 

 

Actually, it IS profound. 

 

The Gr”a explains that it’s not teaching us to run away from regular sin. But even an Aveira Lishma should be done reluctantly, and only as a last resort. Like Queen Esther marrying Achashverosh. Like Yael killing the mighty king Sisra.

 

So how do I know if my zealousness is really for the sake of heaven? I must ask myself: “Does Hashem want me to be doing this?” Is He ok with me burning down a sheitel store because I feel sheitels aren’t tzanua? 

 

That’s what the Possuk says about Pinchas, G-d said “ Pinchas was zealous out of concern for MY honor”.  It wasn’t for his ego.

 

Just like the scenario with the housewife vs. the cat in getting rid of the mouse, the same applies to protests against misdeeds. One must sincerely not want the misdeeds. One should not just use the misdeed as an opportunity to engage in protesting.

 

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions." 

That's only if we fail to analyze those intentions.

 

Have a great Shabbos!

Holy Cow!

Have you ever herd of the Red Cow?

In this week's parsha we learn of the mitzvah of the Parah Adumah [RedHeifer]. Rashi says that this mitzvah is known as the quintessential "chok". A “chok” is a mitzvah in which we don’t understand the reason.

As I write this, I wonder about the connection between the Red Heifer and the bulls who star in bullfights. The way the Matadors provoke the bulls to fight is by waving a red cloth at them, which is so terribly irritating to them that they get riled up and charge at the fighter. Something about their red ancestor? Perhaps not having been chosen as the unique red one? Its highly probable that there’s no connection at all.

Mooovin along, the mitzvah of Parah Adumah is, in fact, a tremendous paradox. The Parah Adumah was used to be me'taher people who were Tameh Meis. To purify those that have become impure through contact with a corpse. People who have the impurity of Tameh Meis have no way of achieving purity other than by means of the Parah Adumah. Yet, on the other hand, any person who had anything to do with the preparing or the carrying or the sprinkling of the Parah Adumah became ritually impure, himself. 

The paradox of the Parah Adumah, thus, is that it makes those who are impure, pure and those who are pure, impure.

Our Rabbis tell us that the verse in Koheles [7:23] "All this I tried to understand with my wisdom; I said I will figure it out, but it is still distant from me" refers to Shlomo stating that he understood the entire Torah, except for the chapter of Parah Adumah which remained elusive --despite all his inquiry.

The Medrash further states that G-d told Moshe, "To you I will explain the paradox of Parah Adumah, but to every other human being I will always hide its mystery." However the Medrash does say that in the Messianic Era, G-d will finally explain to us the mystery of Parah Adumah.

 G-d made a deliberate and conscious effort to keep the mystery of Parah Adumah hidden from us. Shlomo, with his unparalleled wisdom, should have been able to understand Parah Adumah. But G-d said, "I've got to keep this a secret. There is a reason. I will tell it to Klal Yisroel in the distant future. But for now, no one can understand Parah Adumah."

Why? Does G-d want to prove that He is smarter than us? Is this a game where G-d dangles something in front of us, teasing us with our inability to figure it out? 

Is G-d being a Matador and waving the Red Cow in front of us to provoke us?  

 The reason G-d hid the understanding of Parah Adumah from us, is to teach us a vital lesson. There are things in life that are just inexplicable. We must learn the lesson that things will happen in life that we will never be able to understand. We will come across things that will be terrible paradoxes, things that have apparently no rhyme and no reason.

What is this area of paradox that parallels Parah Adumah? 
It is the area of Tzadik v'ra lo and Rasha v'Tov lo.

 It’s the famous troublesome question of the ages:  
Why do bad things happen to good people, and vise versa?

The same way Parah Adumah is a paradox that makes absolutely no sense, there exists a paradox in life that we meet time and time and time again.

Logic would dictate just the reverse: A person is righteous, he is a noble Jew and unfortunately he suffers. Another person is wicked, he does everything that is forbidden and he is wealthy and prospers and has honor. Does this even make sense?!

G-d makes no errors. He runs the world with a plan. This is not illogical, it’s a paradox!

For some reason, that is the way that G-d made His world. We will have to deal with that issue and problem. 
So, G-d educated us in paradoxes. That education is the Parah Adumah.

This is a tremendous education. Today, we think of Parah Adumah as an obscure mitzvah. We learn about it in the Chumash. We don't really know what it is talking about.
But during the time of the Temple, the laws of Parah Adumah were extremely relevant. Invariably, one came into contact with dead people; one went to funerals; one became tameh. Then what? One could not eat Kodshim Kalim; one could not eat Ma'aser; one could not go to certain places in Jerusalem until one became Tahor.

So, Parah Adumah was certainly something that happened many times a year and was often a daily occurrence. Every single time, a Jew would be faced with the same paradox. He walks in tameh and walks out tahor while the Kohen would walk in tahor and walk out tameh. It does not seem to make sense, but at least the Jew would be exposed to and get accustomed to a paradox.

The Jew would learn that there are some things in this world that don't seem to make sense. That is why G-d hid the reason for Parah Adumah from us and it is also why in he future He will explain Parah Adumah to us.

 In the future we WILL understand all the paradoxes of life. The one about the Red Cow, and also the udder ones. 

But right now, G-d purposely keeps them a secret, in order to understand that we just CAN’T understand because we’re not supposed to understand it. 
That in itself supplies tremendous satisfaction and consolation.

 Have a great shabbos!

Korach, The Bully

There are a few things that annoy me at the supermarket.
 
When I´m done unloading my wagon contents onto the checkout counter, and the cashier asks me, ¨Will that be all?¨
 
No, ma´am, I´d like all this invisible stuff, too.
 
Then, say, on a rare occasion, like when I run out at 6 am because I have nothing in the house  to send the kids to school with, and I only have a few bottles of milk, bread, snacks, and fruit on the counter, and the cashier asks, ¨Would you like a bag?¨
 
Nah, that´s ok. I can juggle 10 items...12 is my limit.
 
And lastly, there´s the friendly ¨Can I help you?¨
 
Ok, I know what you´re confused about. That kind gesture offering assistance should not be bothering me; It should be reassuring me.
 
But, I remain suspicious as to whom the sales person hopes to help. 
Do they have my best interest in mind, or their own? Do they need to look busy? Receive commission per costumer?
 
How many times have they not located what I requested, or they waved me off stating they don´t carry it, only for me to have found it in the next aisle?
The agenda runs interference with our ability to trust.

This week’s Torah reading relates the story and downfall of Korach and his followers in their rebellion against Moshe. The basis of Korach’s complaint was that the entire nation is holy, and therefore there was no need for Moshe to serve as leader and Aaron as the high priest.
Korach was a gifted orator. He was pursuasive, convincing, and charming. He was a leader who was righteous and respected.
 
But underneath his self-righteous image lies the essence of a manipulator: someone who shrewdly and deviously attempts to control.
A manipulator is someone who has mastered the art of aggression disguised as helpfulness, good intentions, or working "for the good of the people". These people are brilliant at hiding their true motives.
Pretending to pursue the greater good, he adopts the mantra of “people first” with a fervency that inspires admiration and respect, and most people accept his claims of selfless pursuit of noble causes.


The Parsha states, And Korach took…

He took: He seduced the heads of the Sanhedrin with soft speech. (Rashi)

He took …a bad business for himself. (Tactate Sanhedrin 109B)

He took: He assumed the right to himself (Rabbi S.R. Hirsch)

What exactly did Korach take? The verse is purposefully ambiguous about what it was that Korach took perhaps to imply all of the above and more. The Chovos Halevovos offers a prescription on how to be a good neighbor or friend that may help us to understand where Korach went awry and why.
 
He writes that one must be sincerely concerned about everyone in their lives. That he should endeavor to meet his duties toward them to fulfill their wishes. He should be their steadfast supporter in all their concerns and advise them what is advantageous to them.
 
He should do this to serve G-d as it written, “Love your neighbor as yourself”, “Do not hate your brother in your heart”. Not because he hopes to be repaid by them, not to make them indebted to him, not because he loves to be honored and praised by them, not to have authority over them, but rather to fulfill the commandment of the Creator and to keep His covenant and His ordinances in their regard.

He continues...If his motive in fulfilling their wishes is one of those ulterior motives mentioned above, he will not obtain what he wants from them in this world, he will labor in vain, and he will lose his reward in the World-to-Come. If, however, he acts solely out of service to G-d, then G-d will help them (his beneficiaries) to repay him in this world and will put his praises in their mouths and will increase his stature in their eyes.

 The Chovos HaLevavos gives a clear “if/then” promise without any qualifications. If one engages personal interactions with a selfish motive then the mission will certainly fail. However, if one acts out of a sense of dutiful concern then success is guaranteed.
Take the seder table, for example. The child who is asked to recite “Mah Nishtana” to impress the guests will also more likely freeze and fail recognizing subconsciously he is being asked to risk humiliation to offer someone else a feeling of success or nachas.
 
If a parent, teacher, mentor, or anyone in a leadership position can convince a person that they have his or her best interest at heart then they can really begin to work wonders. The relationship becomes inspired with genuine respect. The person’s needs are perceived as an end and not just a means.

Watch out for charismatic leaders or ambitious coworkers. Make sure their hearts are in the right place.
 
Being a celebrity is a thrilling concept. The world, or parts of it, is in the hands of a celebrity. They can change whatever needs changing, or fix whatever needs fixing. The people soak up their every word, laugh at every joke, and imitate their every action. They have the luxury to do as they so desire without explanation. They can see the world, and be seen by the world. They get to be in the front lines.
 
But a celebrity doesn´t have to be rich to be famous.
 
It can be any one of us, or anyone we know.
 
It starts out with a sincere desire to develop ones talents, and make a difference in the world.  It starts by feeling a genuine desire to educate, inspire, and entertain people with captivating words.
 
But being a public figure requires more emphasis on the external, which gets rationalized because it´s for the greater good. And being a public figure means getting fan mail, which feels nice, since it means you´re making a difference in peoples´ lives. It also feels nice, because now you´re a celebrity.
 
When the internal becomes external, we have to stop and question our motives. Are we manipulating our followers? Am I enjoying the attention a bit too much? Are my intentions still as sincere as they were before the spotlight blinded me? And if they are sincere, am I carrying them out in the right way?Am I being creative, or emotionally controlling? Am I hurting as many people as I´m building?
 
Do I have their best interest in mind, or my own?
Nobody wants to be a mere instrument for somebody else´s aggrandizement, a stepping stool or even a medal on their chest. Even if a person is pleasant and charming the weight of the agenda eventually crushes the relationship.
 
Imagine seeing a life size cuddly teddy bear running towards you with his arms open wide, inviting you for a hug. So you run in its direction, reciprocating the gesture. Who can reject an endearing, snuggly, soft, warm hug? Well, being blinded by a flaunting or pretentious leader is like realizing that the huggable, loveable bear you´re running towards, is attached to the front of a speeding truck.

Why is it that when we go to a doctor and if we don’t like what we hear we go for second opinion and yet when we get on a plane we trust the first pilot offered? The difference is that the pilot is also getting on the plane with us.
Korach tragically crashed a plane with 250 families and their possessions by convincing them and himself he had their best interest at heart when it was really only about him. Perhaps this profound lesson of caution is all we can take from a taker.

First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.


Have a beautiful shabbos!