The Power of the Nose; Parshas Vayakhel

I'm going to share a secret with you. If you're trying to sell your home, right before a potential buyer arrives, knead together a fluffy dough, and put it in the oven to bake. As the customers come inside, the delicious aroma of fresh bread will enter his nostrils, bringing a message to the brain that this is a homey, comfortable house, which might ultimately lead him to buy it.

We often come in contact with the sense of seeing, the sense of hearing, as well as the senses of touch and taste. How many times has the sense of smell  been acknowledged? Let's get in touch a bit with our smelling sensation.

The Torah speaks a lot about the korbanos, describing them as a REIACH NICHOACH for Hashem. By wording it like this, the possuk seems to indicate that there must be something spiritual about smell.

So... you all think I'm about to tell you what a holy, spiritual, enlightening, and inspiring concept smell is. Don't hold your breath. I'm not really sure yet.

I was thinking that smell is the only one of the five senses that connects directly to the brain, without an intermediary. In order to see, we need the use of our eyeball lenses. To touch, we need the assistance of our nerves. To taste, or course we need taste buds. To hear, we need the vibrations in our eardrums. But for smelling, all we do is sniff... and BINGO! the sensation goes straight to the brain.

But then I was wondering... what would happen if we didn't have a nose? Who nose if we'd still be able to smell? Maybe there is an intermediary? If anyone has an answer to my dilemma, please let me know ASAP. 

Chaza"l  tell us that a talmid chacham is compared to the Arzei halelvonon, a type of tree. Why? Rav Adler from Baltimore said once that it's because by the arzei halevonon, not only do the flowers release a delicious smell, but the branches and leaves do as well. When a talmid chacham does mitzvos, of course they're done beautifully and sweetly. But the insight over here is that when a person is a talmid chacham, then even his regular and mundane activities are done with beauty and emanate a certain sweetness. The way he talks, walks, deals in business...everything has a delicious smell. Not only the maasim tovim. 

 Why am I saying that his mitzvos and maasim tovim are compared to the smell of the fruits of the tree? Cuz the essrog, which smells incredibly good is compared by chaza"l to the maasim tovim of a person.

Another topic is spoken about in the parsha this week. It's something especially applicable to the lucky members of the  female species, but the lesson is for everyone. No, I'm not having an ADD moment; we'll connect the two topics in a minute.

The gorgeous, shiny kiyor in the mishkan, as everyone knows, was crafted by using the famous mirrors of the women in Mitzraim. Why were these mirrors worthy of being used for the holy kiyor? Because of the reason the women used them. They didn't sit and stare at themselves all day to make sure every hair was in place, and all the spare tires are tucked in tight. That's what car and store windows are for. These righteous women had a plan. Their husbands were tired and depressed from the backbreaking labor they were busy with all day. They looked at the future in darkness. Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel was out. They wanted to discontinue life. They couldn't allow children to be born into such misery.

But their brilliant, holy wives realized that even though the light was out, it will shine brightly again one day. And then they would regret not doing the mitzvah of peru urevu- having children. So they decided that the only way to fix up the situation was to seduce their husbands to make them want to fulfill this mitzvah. So they put on makeup, and flirted, and using the mirrors, they pointed out to them how beautiful they looked. Obviously, it worked. And this is why those mirrors are so holy. 

Because in the world we live in, there's a time and place for everything. Hashem  put into the nature of a woman, the ability to flirt and seduce. Unfortunately it's usually used, and therefore viewed, as something negative. But actually, it's not something to just be denied and deleted. G-d gave it to us to use in the right time and the right place, which is what those women in Egypt realized. Their intentions were pure. Their motivation was directed upward. And they used their abilities l'sheim shomayim.

And that's with everything G-d gave us. Our duty in life is to take the regular, mundane things, and elevate them. To turn neutral into good.  Like the Talmid chacham.  Even the regular and the mundane is sweet. The whole tree smells good, not just the fruits and flowers.

This has been brought to you by....ALLURE, a perfume by Chanel. Just follow your nose. If you have one.

"Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it."

To Do Or Not To Do...Parshas Titzaveh

Does it make sense to give tzedakah to a wealthy person? I feel it's a bit of a waste.  You probably do, too.  Well, we're not in this alone. Rav Dessler seems a bit troubled by a guarantee Hashem offers us in the p'sukim.

V'ATAH T'DABER EL KOL CHACHMEI LEV ASHER M'LEITIV RUACH CHOCHMA, and you should tell the wise people that I'll fill them up with wisdom.

Why would someone who's already wise need more wisdom? The first person who tried taking a second helping of wisdom ended up wearing clothing! We wouldn't want something like that to happen again.

R' Dessler believes that you give wisdom to one who needs it. So, if these people already have chochma why is G-d giving them more?

 

Oh, before you go, there's something else bothering me. These smarties that we're speaking about, so the Torah calls them CHACHMEI LEV, people that are smart in their hearts.  But doesnt wisdom take place in the mind and not the heart? The heart is for emotions, feelings, and all those other warm and mushy things. But not wisdom.

 

R' Dessler explains that chochmas lev means a wise heart. The heart represents the desires of a person. So chochmas lev means a desire to do the right thing.

 

Now, I know that there are no lack of Jewish architects around [whose mothers are still sitting shiva for them since they're not doctors] but how did the Jews manage to find enough craftsmen and architects to build such a magnificent mishkan?  That takes creativity, talent, training, and a whole lot more. How did they find so many people with the proper credentials?

 

When Moshe announced the start of the building of the mishkan, the first to people to send in their applications were the chachmei lev- those who wanted to be a part of building the house of Hashem. Did they have the training required? Proper credentials? Those specific talents? No. But that didn't matter. They came to Moshe saying "I wanna help". Obviously, Moshe would ask them "well, what can you do?"   "Uh, dunno. Maybe I'll make the paroches. But I don't know how..."

No matter. Moshe arranged for them to start creating whatever they offered to make, encouraging them that Hashem will assist them in their work. And ya know what? That's exactly what happened. G-d inserted into those chachmei lev the knowledge, creativity, and wisdom to build and create the holy and beautiful structure.

 

It seems like Moshe took a pretty big risk by hiring non qualified workers to undertake such a big project. How was he so confident it was going to work out well?

 

When a person has a desire to do something for klal yisroel or for haKadosh Baruch Hu,  he may not  possess the necessary kochos (strengths)  and talents for the job. Whether it's bigger projects like building  a  shul  or a mikvah where it's needed, or smaller, yet significant ideas about creating necessary shiurim, support groups, gemachs, or anything else. You don't have to be the most creative person on the planet. You don't have to have been the G.O. president in high school. Or even the main part in the play. The only requirement for success in  your holy endeavor, is to maintain a deep, sincere desire to help klal yisroel  serve their Creator, and G-d will make sure you have all the power you need.

 

Who thinks R' Dessler is one to talk? I do. He helped establish the famous Gateshead community, just because there was a simple Jew named R' Dovid Drayan who lived in Gateshead but was very disturbed by the lack of yeshivos  there. He would not live in a place with out a yeshiva. Since he, himself wasn't qualified to be the Rosh Yeshiva, he managed to find R' Dessler who jumped at the opportunity. Then he went on to open up a kollel in order to keep the boys there after marriage. Oh- marriage. Right- who would these boys marry? So, R' Dovid went on to open a girls seminary. And y'know what?!  The Gateshead community became and remains the largest makom Torah on the entire European continent. All because of a simple Jew with a sincere desire.

 

"If you're still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven't done much today."

 

I Don't Give Autographs To Jews: Parshas Mishpatim

This week, we're told about many of the mitzvos asei and mitvvos lo saasei- the positive and negative mitzvos, and each one is explained in depth. One famous commandment, which we've learned about since kindergarten, is the prohibition of Idolatry. Worshiping or serving another god.

Now, some of you are thinking "Hey, I live in the Five Towns, or in Brooklyn, or in Eretz Yisrael, or in any other choshuve Jewish community in the world. We don't do avodah zarah! We'd rather die!" But, nonetheless, the Torah speaks a lot about the issur of avodah zarah, serving a foreign god, so it must be speaking to us in some way.

So the question is, Is there really the concept of avodah zarah today?

There are two basic fundamentals of Judaism that we're all probably aware of.

#1- There are two worlds. A- the physical world and B- the spiritual world. The physical world is where we use all of our senses. The spiritual world is something abstract, untouchable.

#2- Everything that happens in the physical world is a projection of the spiritual. There isn't a movement in the physical world that doesn't have a source in the spiritual world.

An example of this would be looking at a human being. A- they have a body. B- they have a soul. The body uses the five senses. The soul is the persons' essence, personality...

When you like someone, you like them not because of their physical body, but because of their essence. You get to know them, and then you like them. Yet, you can't touch their essence, no matter how close you are to them.

When we see a physical emotion, it's a projection of how the spiritual is feeling. If you see someone smile, it's a projection of what the neshama is doing. The way you see a person walking down the street is usually a projection of his essence.

I remember back to when my first child was born. She was only two days old when she did the most brilliant thing any two day old baby has ever done. She smiled! I was so proud that my child was so content with her new life. All those other babies out in the nursery, with their post birth smashed cone-heads, were crying day and night, and my bundle of beauty was smiling in my arms. Ahhh, what an expression of the soul. Well, my fantasies were shattered as soon as the nurse interrupted my bragging by explaining that she's not smiling at me- it was 'just gas'.

Any slight movement projects what a person really is. Body language sometimes says more about a person than words. How one walks, talks, laughs... its all written right there.

 Now this can be problematic sometimes.

Lets take a trip into Hollywood for a second. What's an actor? Physical body. His essence is acting. The body movements aren't real. He's constantly acting in a certain way because he has to. 

We became so used to looking at someone's body and deciding who they are- by the way they move, by the things they say or do- that we don't get to know who they really are.   Therefore, when we have an opportunity to really know them, we might be disappointed.

Someone once said that when he was younger, he was obsessed with a certain baseball player. He lived and breathed this guy. He worshiped the ground he walked on. Then, one day, after a successful game, a long long line of fans opened up before him, all eagerly awaiting his name in ink on their beloved balls or tees. Our friend was standing on the line,  wearing his yarmulke and tzitzis, making his nationality obvious. Suddenly, in a booming voice, in front of everyone, and carrying over to the mikes which were broadcasting live in every living room, were the star players' blunt words: "I DONT GIVE AUTOGRAPHS TO JEWS".

 Bang. Smash. Shatter. This boys' image was completely ruined. He was depressed for weeks. What an idiot!! But the problem was, the star didn't just become an idiot. He was always the same. But we get so carried away with the externalities that we don't see the inside.

An  IDOL  , was meant to be a representative to G-d. Throughout the generations, people would sometimes make a physical representative of Hashem.  The problem is, though, that at times they would forget what it represents and they would start bowing down to and worshiping the image instead of G-d himself.

Hence the double usage of the word idol. The ones in Hollywood are also called by that name.

Rav Dessler teaches us that the yetzer horah of avodah zarah is the humans ability to see the outside and not the inside. To focus on the external instead of the internal. To concentrate more on the shuckeling, than on the davening itself.

When we get carried away with the projection and not the source, THAT'S avodah zarah.

Have you ever had deja vu? Have you ever had deja vu?   ;-)

Why do today, what you can put off til tomorrow? Parshas Bo

There are many inspiring and educational lessons that we learn from yetziat Mitzraim, the Jewish exile from Egypt. Rabbi Akiva Tatz brings an important one to our attention which I'll elaborate on.  

You know those people that are always going to be at their appointments exactly on time?
You invite them for dinner at 7:00, and the clock strikes seven simultaneously with the doorbell. They show up at  weddings before the chosson and  kallah. The biggest tragedy in their lives occurs when the battery of their watch breaks. You know the type?

The concept of TIME is a significant one. Time can be used positively, as well as negatively.

Using time negatively, means being lazy. That's a debilitating disease. It prevents a person from reaching a goal. Be it a household chore, a project at work, a spiritual activity, or just about anything that requires some movement.

Using time positively, helps you reach a goal, or achieve spiritual heights.

Why am I bringing this in over here? What does this hafta do with the Jews' freedom?

The exact second they left Mitzraim (Egypt) was extremely significant. Had the Jews stayed even one second longer, they wouldn't have been worthy of leaving. They would've lost the zchus.

At this time, they were on the forty ninth level of tumaah, impurity- out of fifty. Using some quick arithmetic... that's a pretty low level. If they had waited even one more second before walking out the gates of Egypt, they would've hit rock bottom. They would've reached the fiftieth level of impurity.

Whoa! Wait right there. What was sooo dangerous about remaining another minute in Mitzraim?  First of all, don't tell me they would've been influenced negatively by the Egyptians- they were living side by side for over 200 years... what new trends would they teach them a second before they leave?

And also, wasn't this the moment of redemption? A moment of purity? Of revelation? It was such a holy moment. How would they possibly have fallen down into a level of impurity in just one second of the holiest moment ever?

See, the danger was TIME itself.  Being lazy. Not acting immediately. 

THAT'S  the impurity. Laziness. Procrastination. 

If the Jewish people, when given their exit visas would've wanted to finish a game of chess they were in middle of before leaving, or if they would've run back home to take the cake out of the oven, or to change into their favorite outfit.... that would've been the danger. That is the impurity.

When we're given an opportunity to do something, the moment to do it is RIGHT THEN. If we wait even one moment, we can miss it.

A few years ago, I thought of the most perfect shiduch. I actually didn't even know either one of them too well, but whatever I did know seemed perfect. So, what does the president of the Procrastinators Club do? She doesn't pick up the phone and suggest it. I had every excuse in the world to wait a little while. They were both in camp, I didn't know how to reach them.  Maybe they'd prefer to wait til after the summer. Maybe this, maybe that. To make a short story shorter, a day after camp was over, I heard the wonderful news that they had gotten engaged..... to each other! Someone else had gotten my mitzvah. (And my shadchanus money ).  Because the moment I thought of it, was the moment to act.

You know, I was always bothered by the famous story of Rabbi Akiva, where he traveled away from home for 12 years learning Torah, and upon returning home, before even entering his warm, happy home, he overheard his loving wife, Rachel, speaking to a neighbor inside. "I'm so proud of my husband's accomplishments in Torah, I wouldn't mind if he goes back for another 12 years!". At the echo of those words, he made an about face, got into his carriage, and traveled away for an additional 12 years.  

 Couldn't he just go in and say "Hello, wife!"?  Not even  "what's for dinner?" but just H-E-L-L-O. And then he can turn around and go to resume his studies.

 Now I understand why he couldn't. Because that was the moment he had to go back. It was then or never. If he would've gone in, even for a second, he may have changed his mind. 

That's why the possuk says B'CHIPAZON- THEY LEFT IN A RUSH. They had to rush out of there, because stalling and procrastinating would have brought them down to a lower level. 

And this might also be why right now is when they were commanded to eat matzah on Pesach. The two significant aspects that make matzah what it is, are: a time factor, and constant work.  Consistently kneading the dough, for exactly 18 minutes, entitles the matzah kosher. Stopping to knead it, symbolizing laziness, or allowing it to sit even one minute more than 18... and it's become chametz.

 Time is so important, that  even100th of a second is worth 10 million dollars. Now, wait a second. I'm not one of those exaggerating idealists trying to prove my point. I'm being very serious.

Ever see what goes on in the Olympics? Last years winner crossed the finish line at 3:27:53 seconds. So, when this years contestant is trying to beat him, he's coming in at 3 seconds... everyone's turning blue from holding their breath...and he wins by 3:27:52 seconds. The crowd bursts into cheer. We have a new winner, who won by 100th of a second. 

The next day, first thing in the morning, the new winner gets a phone call. It's Nike. They want him to model off their new shoes. That's 2 million dollars. Next, Coca Cola calls him. They want his to be drinking their stuff on TV. That's another 2 million dollars. And the phone doesn't stop ringing. 100th of a second was worth 10 million dollars.

Whoa.. I think Ill get off the computer now and go cook for shabbos.

"If you lose one hour in the morning, you'll spend the rest of the day looking for it".

Parshas Vaeira

We're up to a child's favorite parsha.

 Blood, frogs, lions, dead animals... c'mon this is a school teachers dream week. She has full attendance and participation, no doubt, and she gets to jump around the room croaking and roaring, praying that no parent decides to make a surprise visit during this high energy week. 

This week, the Torah discusses seven of the famous ten plagues which G-d sent upon the Egyptians for the well known reason of persuading Paraoh to release the Jewish people from their bondage.

Rashi teaches that it was also to create an awareness of G-d in the Mitzrim, something which they were lacking.

Well, do you think the plan worked? Were Paraoh and the Egyptians afraid enough of the makot, plagues, to let the Jews free?

To find out, you'll have to tune in next week for the next episode of Skull caps and Mummies.

Meanwhile, let's look into the possuk  to see what's goin on.  Apparently Paraoh was suffering tremendously during each plague. He was practically crawling out of his skin (along with his lice buddies) in pain and discomfort. But then, suddenly, the possuk  writes that PARAOH SAW THAT THERE HAD BEEN A RELIEF...that Hashem had stopped the plagues. ...HE DIDNT HEED THEM...

As soon as the pain of the makot stopped, all of the discomfort associated with them disappeared as well. As soon as he was relieved from his horrors, he completely forgot about all his suffering.

Usually, when a person is in a situation that causes him pain or just unpleasantness, he makes a secret vow never to allow himself to enter into that kind of circumstance again.

I know someone who declared she's never giving birth to another child. Well, she made the same declaration 8 times.

Did you ever decide you're not touching one more chocolate bar, only to find yourself getting mileage on your credit card from Hershey's? Thank goodness for 'bli neder'. 

I think we're all on the same page over here.

Why does this happen?

 Because as time passes, the once painful experience turns into a distant memory. When the actual pain or discomfort is no longer felt, we lose the clarity of the physical feeling or emotion.  

Many times while suffering with something, we make promises and commitments of sorts, and most usually they are pretty short lived. Because as soon as the pain is no longer present, we return to our old, usually negative ways, pretty fast.

The best way to make sure we don't repeat the negative behaviors that we promised not to do, would be to stop and think right before we repeat the act. Next time you want to down your third bag of Hot Tamale chips in a row, just try and remember how the last time you did that you spent the whole night in the water closet throwing your guts up. That might serve as an incentive to stay away from making the same mistake.

 Ok, we'll shift away from the negative for now, since we have this problem in the positive too. Let's turn our focus there for a moment.

How many of us have gone to a really good shiur, let's say on the topic of shmirat halashon- guarding your tongue. You probably left the speech all inspired, and declared "I'm NEVER speaking loshon horah again!!"  Now tell me... or rather tells yourselves... how long did that vow last? You don't have to tell me, cuz I made the same resolution.  

What's the secret to getting inspired and remaining inspired, and to actually grow from the inspiration?

The prerequisite would be that  we have to know how to align our emotions.  We must be in touch with our feelings. Any time something happens, for the good or the better, be aware of how that makes you feel. Angry, happy, sad, grateful, inspired... the list is endless.

Once you know how you feel about something, only then can you decide where to store that emotion.

Dovid Hamelech had quite an emotional life. Each and every thing he experienced, for the good or the better, became a perek of Tehilim, each expressing a different emotion.

A few parshiot ago, when Yaakov went down to Mitzraim to meet his son, Yosef, that was a moment full of inspiration for Yaakov. He wanted to grab it and hold onto that moment forever. But, inspiration comes and goes.

So what did he do? He recited kriat sh'ma. But why? Surely he already davened that day, and I really don't think he was on his way to bed... so what was that all about?

Because Yaakov realized that if he wants to always hold on to the inspiration, he has to do something to make it everlasting. So he reacted by doing a mitzvah which is eternal.

If someone extended themselves on your behalf and you experience a feeling of gratitude, do something about it. That's the perfect opportunity to buy them a nice gift, to write a thank you card, do something positive that will help you hold on to your positive emotion.

Ever go sailing in a sailboat? It's actually  more fun than a motorboat. Here's how it works. If the sails are facing the wind, the boat will sail along nicely. As soon as you take the sails and turn them away from the wind, the boat will stand stationary in the ocean.

This is how it is with our emotions. If we turn to them and relate to them, we'll sail along beautifully. However, if we decide to turn ourselves away from them, and ignore them, we won't budge. And, if it stays there long enough, through rainstorms and heavy winds, it just might end up sinking.

Hold onto your inspiration- don't let it slip through your fingertips... Decide to take a positive step. Do something to make it last. Forever. 

"Happiness is... good health, and a bad memory"

Parshas Sh'mos

We live in a crazy world, with up-side-down priorities and non existent values. Not that you need proof or anything, but take a look at the Sports and Entertainment section in your local newspaper.

The Golf Superstar is... a black guy.

The Basketball champion is... Chinese.

The #1 rapper is... a white-man.

A bit backward you think?

 

Don't worry- when the insanity of life hits you, just hang in there and think of Parshas Sh'mos, and remember that Moshe was also a basket-case.

 

But our messed up galaxy isnt such a chiddush, (novelty). The fact that it was messed up 3,300 years ago is what's amazing. Lets take a peak into the corruption and try to understand the motive, reason, and solution.

 

If you pay close attention to the psukim, and if you're not yet immune to strange events, you'll appreciate an interesting discussion between Paraoh and the miyaldot, midwives.

Here are the points that bother me within those verses:

 

1. Instead of Paraoh sending out his army to kill all the new baby boys- as he would normally do, he goes, all by his royal self, to Yocheved and Miriam (the midwives) to have them commit his inhumane crimes.

2. Paraoh wastes all his bad breath by giving over special signs to the midwives, explaining in detail how to differentiate between the boys and the girls. Rashi spells out for us what those simanim were: If the baby's head is facing downward, it's a boy, and face up means a girl.

 Now, anyone with an IQ of 70 and above would be deemed capable of distinguishing between the genders, without the helpful tips of His Royal Harness. I think.

3. Yocheved and Miriam's response is a bit weird. They claimed that the situation is out of their control, since the Jewish women are giving birth alone, without their assistance, and therefore, by the time they arrive on the scene, the babies are out.  So what? As soon as it's out, if it's a boy, kill the kid.

4. Throughout the whole dialog, the main character is sometimes called Paraoh, and sometimes melech Mitzraim, the king of Egypt. Is that something significant, or at some point they just forgot his name?

 

 So, the Torah refers to the king as melech Mitzraim in the beginning of the story. That's because he was trying to act in the manner of a king. He had to be fair and just and honest. If he would give the impression that he was making a law that was cruel or unfair, perhaps the people would revolt. So by approaching the miyaldot personally, as opposed to having his army kill the boys, he was trying to give over some semblance of law. He's covering up his evil scheme in a mantel of justice. 

"There are too many people in Egypt. We can't feed so many mouths. We don't have enough mummy garb to go around." He would never say outright to kill them once they're already born, so he suggested, for demographic purposes, to murder them before they're actually born. 

 

In more contemporary words, he isn't killing any baby boys; he's commanding forced abortions! He was teaching them the simanim with the head (faced up or down) so that before the baby's officially born, if they see it's a boy, they kill him.

Paraoh was the first Pro Choice activist.

Roe vs. Wade vs. Paraoh.

 

Now is when the miyaldot call him Paraoh. With this one simple word, an entire conversation took place indirectly.

"You think you'll fool us ? You're no melech Mitzraim. You're Paraoh the murderer. The rasha. Killing the kid before he's born is the same as after. Today you're killing before they're born.... but tomorrow you'll be murdering after they're alive, too." 

 Which is exactly what happened.

 

[And, by the way, there was no one more appropriate to give Paraoh that mussar shmooze than Yocheved. She was indicating that she, herself is the proof that a child prebirth, is just as much of a human being as a child after birth. When the Jews were going down to Mitzraim, they were counted as shivim nafesh, 70 people. In reality, there were only 69 people traveling down to Egypt. What did they do, round it out to the nearest whole number? No. Yocheved wasn't born yet, but she was on the way. She was still in the womb, but nonetheless, was completely counted as a human being.]

 

Paraoh was using a certain strategy to cover up his crime, making believe it was the right thing to do. This is a strategy many of us use, many times, to convince ourselves or others that we're doing the right thing.

 

This is the concept of   RATIONALIZATION.

What is rationalization?

Rationalization means making up a good reason for something, instead of admitting the true reason.

Rationalization is so common, that if we were to stop doing it, the silence would give us a headache. We rationalize to others, giving excuses or logical explanations as to why we did or didn't do something, but a LOT of rationalizing goes on internally- within ourselves, many times without even realizing what we're doing.

Why do we do this?

When we're not able to admit to something, we try to cover it up. We give a logical sounding reason, thereby allowing us to not have to face the truth. It's a defense mechanism.

 

Ok, picture for a second, a typical market place with merchants trying to sell their goods. There's one man, in a little booth, selling excuses. "Ladies and gentlemen, excuses for sale! Buy them before they're used. Hot for now, cold for later. Excuses for sale!!"

One of his neighboring merchants turned to him and told him that he's seen him selling excuses for 20 years already, and he still has no money. He wanted to know what he's doing wrong.

"That's the way it is with excuses", he said. "Even if people buy them, they never make you rich".

 

It has been said that success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. When someone is successful, they take a lot of credit for it, but when they fail, they look around for someone or something to blame it on. A traumatic upbringing, bad luck, and unhappy marriage, bad teachers in kindergarten, friends, chavrusas, therapists...- anyone but themselves.

 

What's so bad about making excuses?

The only way to improve a situation is to recognize that we, ourselves are responsible for our situation.

If someone has a temporal problem, and is prone to coming late, he can have all the excuses in the world, and people might actually buy them, but they'll never 'make him rich'. He'll never improve and grow from the problem.

If we keep blaming others, even if it's legitimate we won't ever find a solution, and we will forever remain on that level, with that weakness.

 

Let's have in mind that even if people excuse us with our rationalizations, and we end up fooling them, and we get off "free", we can never really get off free. Because our conscience will constantly scold us and make us miserable, since we  know it's all just a cover.

We can run, but we can't hide.... from ourselves. Face it, and deal with it.

Rationalize= Rational Lies

Parsha Vayigash

As the exciting story of Yosef in Mitzraim continues to unfold, we're brought to a very emotional scene. Yaakov comes down to visit Yosef after not seeing his precious son for 22 years. The background music begins to play softly, building up to a dramatic climax, where father and son walk toward each other, hearts pounding with excitement. Suddenly, the possuk tells us something, which gives us brand new insight to the meaning of the script. It says, VAYEIRAH EILAV... HE APPEARED BEFORE HIM. Whoa!  He blows us away with his wording. Yosef wasn't going to see his father, but to be seen by him. Although Yosef was aching to reunite with his loving father, he was able to put his powerful emotions on hold, in order to be able to do this mitzvah of giving pleasure to his father, without ulterior motives. This is the concept of L'sheim shamayim, acting in the name of G-d, in its truest form.

Doing things L'sheim shamayim, for the sake of G-d, is a consistent theme throughout the life of Yosef.
After he met his brothers, he instructed everyone in Egypt to pack up and move to different cities. Simple as that. Imagine if President Obama got up and announced that on January 14, 2012, everyone in LA will have to switch places with all the people in NY. How many of us will actually listen?
And Yosef wasn't finished with his strange new laws. Not yet. Not until each member of the male gender received a bris milah. Forget it Mr. Obama- don't even go there.
But you know what? Everyone went along with this. Without a hafgana, no protest, no demonstration, no orange ribbons or bracelets... they got up and obeyed his commands.

So... what was his trick? Why did everyone listen to him?

Because they all knew, without a doubt, that everything he was doing was l'sheim shamayim. Because it always was. It was clear to everyone that nothing he did was for his own benefit or need.

When we do things l'sheim shamayim, and with sincerity, people realize the holiness and G-dliness in what we're doing. They sense the altruism of our actions. When we behave without selfishness, and without the need for self gratification, there's a certain siyata dishmaya we receive which makes people admire and respect us for what we've done, and hopefully, a desire to follow our lead. That's why doing things for the right reasons is a guarantee for lifetime success.

I live in a community that is not yet fully in touch with its Jewish identity. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable, and even out of place, by often looking and behaving differently than many of my neighbors and associates, since G-d's Torah commands me to do so. Incredibly, though, after attending meetings or parties in non kosher homes and being consistent with the laws of kashrut, and being consistent with not dancing at mixed weddings, and being consistent by being different on many different levels, in various occasions, many people have  expressed admiration and respect at my family's sincerity and strict, uncompromisable adherence to what we believe is correct. Actions that are done l'sheim shomayim, for the sake of heaven, can only be viewed positively, and will hopefully make a proper kiddush Hashem.

Wherever Yosef went people commented KI HASHEM IMO...HASHEM IS WITH HIM. It became a pattern, and everyone realized. Why was Hashem always with him? Because he was with Hashem. He was always focused on doing what He, with a capital H wanted. He didn't go out to see Yaakov for his own best interest, he withheld his own emotions in order to fill his whole being with what Hashem wanted.

It's not the actions that count as much as the motivation behind them.
If someone has an orchestra and plays at weddings and other affairs for parnassah, livelihood, he can have two different motivations, followed by two different results. Either he can get up and go to his next wedding to play music, since this is his job, or he can attend the next wedding with the intentions of being mikayem the mitzvah of being misameach chosson v'kallah, bringing joy to a bride and groom. The job is the same. The hours are the same. The paycheck is the same. But- the motivation is different, and therefore, the reward is different, and, most importantly, the person becomes different.

We should all be able to do the right things for the right reasons.

"To be G-d's servant, you have to be your own master".