The Crime Of Mediocrity

There are many cross breeds out there on the farm, but the most common one is that of a donkey stallion and a horse mare. What evolves is a Mule. The mule is known to be exceptionally strong. The reason being, that although the offspring is fully developed as a male or female, it is almost always born sterile, and therefore, unable to naturally further mule production. 

Sometimes, when an animal has a certain blemish or imperfection, that lack is compensated by an increase in strength or value of the animal. Unlike the mule who's sterile by birth, some animals are purposely castrated in order to increase their strength.

But, as taught to us in Parshas Emor, although these animals with blemishes might have a greater value because of it, they are still unfit for a korban.

 

Throughout the Torah, we find that completion and wholeness takes precedence over quantity. Say you have two types of bread on the table in front of you. One is a large loaf, conveniently pre-sliced. The other is a round, bite-size roll, strangely resembling a meatball. Which of these would have the honor of receiving your Hamotzee? Obviously the meatball one. Why? Because although the other is bigger and fluffier, and you even bought it at the French bakery, it has a blemish. It's not whole anymore. So the bracha goes on the one that's whole and pure, since that perfection makes it more choshuv.

 

Our avodas Hashem is not measured by quantity, but rather, by how close it is to perfection. The object of the game isn't about how many chumrahs we take upon ourselves, but rather, how carefully we do each mitzvah.

 

There's a gemorah that says: Haosek b'mitzvah patur min hamitzvah, when you're busy with one mitzvah, you're exempt from doing another one. Why is that? Shouldn't we spend the whole day grabbing 'em off the shelves and filling up our shopping carts with as many mitzvos as we can fit in? 

Sort of, but not quite.

 

When we're involved with a mitzvah, we have to make sure that it will be done properly and with completion. The gemorah warns a person very sternly, listing terrible punishments  which will be brought onto one who doesn't finish a mitzvah that he started. The idea is that if you're gonna do something, do it right. Otherwise we're settling for mediocrity. 

Mediocrity is problematic because it means that one does not allow himself to do or become something of ultimate value and therefore he sells himself short. Like, if someone would steal my Porsche and sell it on Ebay for the best bid. Ouch. That's painful, because it's worth so much more than that.

And this is the meaning of the gemorah- that we should be so focused on and active about the mitzvah at hand, and on trying to fulfill it to completion and perfection, that we don't have to get involved with another one until the original is successfully done.

This gemorah is especially popular among my crowd of procrastinators. I wanted to copy it and hang it up in my office (I'm president of the popular club, Procratinators' Unite...Tomorrow), but never got around to it yet.

 

But, to my chagrin, this focus on the 'one mitzvah at a time' thing is not to excuse nor encourage laziness or stagnation. On the contrary. Of course we're trying to fill up our shopping carts, but if the new item is going to ruin one of the old ones in there, it's better that we first move the old one out of the way before adding a new one. If taking a new mitzvah upon yourself is going to interfere with doing the present one properly, we are not obligated to accept the new one. But, a person who wants to have the most items at checkout is going to finish up the original mitzvah quickly, and complete it as fast as he can, in order to be prepared to start the new one. So it's constant movement, focus, involvement, thinking, and determination. 

 Let's talk about mediocrity.

 Listen to this great story about a great person, with a great moral. 

Rav Simcha Wasserman once gave an ultimatum to the principals of a few yeshivos in the United States, telling them that they have to make a choice. Either they teach secular studies properly and thoroughly in their yeshivos, or they shouldn't teach them at all. Because otherwise, he explained to them, they're teaching their b'nei Torah to be mediocre. And that's a crime.

We have to try our hardest to reach perfection in our actions. We have to give everything our best shot.

Success isn't measured by quantity, but by quality. 

 

It's not measured by how many kids we have, but rather by what kind of parent we are to them. Not by how many people we were mekarev, but by how much of a kiddush Hashem we make in their presence. Not by how many items we sold in our store today, but by how much of our heart was in it, and by how beautiful our business ethics were.

 

So, an animal can have many extra qualities because of a certain negative physical condition, but since it's lacking in its ability to reach perfection, it will be rejected as a korban. 

Before I sign off, there's one small thing bothering me.

We're supposed to be perfect. Yet, as human beings, we never can be. 

So why don't I just stop before I even start, so I don't hafta look like a drop-out?

 

Because no one is actually saying that we have to be perfect.  

Nobody is perfect; that's why pencils have erasers. Human beings are not capable of creating perfection, only God can make something perfect, and I really don't want His job. 

What can we do, though? Great timing for this question. We're in the process right now of counting the days of sefiras haomer. We count up to 50, which is the numeral representing perfection. But we don't actually count the 50th day. We stop at 49. Because we're not capable of reaching perfection. 

But, we are capable of counting 49, and by counting 49, it's as if we counted 50. Why? Because 50 is the automatic result of putting in effort and achieving the first 49.

 

Now in English.

 

We cannot be perfect, but we can desire perfection and strive toward it.  

There are no perfect people in this world, only perfect intentions. 

We have to aim for the top and try our best in all our actions. If we spend 49 days striving for completion and perfection in our avodas Hashem, the results will be viewed by Hashem as perfection, as they're carried up to 50.

 

I just wanna share with you something awesome that I heard from a former student Leba (you know who you are) who heard it from Yocheved (you also know who you are), with special thanx to her anonymous chavrusa (do you know who you are?) and here it is. It's a mishnah in yuma:

 

Lifnei mi atem metaharim umi metaher eschem- Avichem shebashamayim- before whom are you purified, and who purifies you? Our Father in Heaven.

 

Take the word mi that's written twice. The numerical value of that word is 50. So now, let's understand this quote differently.

"Before 50, we hafta purify ourselves,  (umi) and from 50, Hashem purifies us." 

How awesome is that?!

Have a beautiful shabbos,

Yaffa

Does My Holiness Have Holes In It?

 Parshas Kedoshim begins with the commandment for us to be holy, just like Hashem is holy.

What is holiness? What does it mean to be a person of sanctity?

Does holiness mean kissing every mezuzah within arm's distance throughout your day?

 

Maybe the Holiness Award goes to he who can shuckle the most wildly, both frontward and backward and still maintain his balance.

 

Perhaps a person of sanctity is one who carries a magnifying glass around his neck so he can be confident that each glass of water he drinks is 100% bug free?

Maybe it means prohibiting the internet till it just obliterates from the world! 

Or, banning exercise classes that don't limit their music to Yeshiva Boys Choir!

 

Oh, I know- holiness means making a bonfire and burning your avoda zara sheitel. Or better yet, if you wanna be one of even greater holiness, go pick a sheitel store of  your choice, and burn it down to the ground! C'mon- DO THE WORK OF THE LORD!

 

I'm afraid not, my friends. Perhaps we should take a close look at the words in the p'sukim to help us understand what it means to be a truly holy person.

 

The very first sentence written, after telling us to be holy, is not, surprisingly,  'shmoneh esrai should take a minimum of 25 minutes.'  
It says  'HONOR YOUR PARENTS.'

Then, the verses continue with a large variety of mitzvos- bein adam l'chaveiro, between man and his friend. Yes, there are some commandments that are bein adam laMakom, between man and God, but the overwhelming majority seem to be focused on the proper behavior patterns among human beings.

 

In order to bring Kedusha, holiness, into the world, we need to exercise the use of our souls. 

You can understand this by taking a good look at your neighborhood cat. Or, maybe at your neighborhood dog. I'm lucky- on my street, I have more dogs than people, so visualizing the scenario is easy. Could those animals ever be holy? I don't think so. An animal behaves on impulse. He acts based on his instincts. There are absolutely no thoughts activating his actions. He just does what his nature leads him to do. When a cougar attacks someone and kills them, he's behaving according to his nature. Free choice does not exist.

 

True holiness and sanctity are brought about by an action as a result of a thought process. Not by simply following impulses, but by fighting for the truth, and by making a clear decision to do something right. Because every time we decide in the affirmative and therefore do a positive action, we become holier and we bring holiness into the world.

Now, of course there's kedusha in mitzvos that are bein adam laMakom. Plenty of it. Those are also human acts that depend on the spiritual side of a person. But the ultimate in sanctity is dependent on our behavior in the earthly, worldly activities. On channeling our impulses and choosing correctly.

You can take every chumra you've ever heard of upon yourself, and fast every other day, and buy only Glatt kosher and cholov yisrael... but while waiting on line for it you're blabbing loshon horah on your cell phone with one hand, and with the other, you're elbowing the guy who took your parking spot, and you're giving the death stare to the lady in front of you because she took the last fat-free carb-free taste-free potato knish...well that's a bit oxymoronic, dontcha think?

 

We need to ask ourselves, "Am I holy, or am I holier than thou?"
Big difference.

So, the chidush over here is that who we really are, and how we rank on our level of spirituality, is based on our behaviors bein adam l'chaveiro. How we speak to others, and how we respect them. Dealing fairly with others, feeling and showing care and concern, judging favorably, giving tzedakah, giving our parents the proper honor and respect that they deserve, going the extra mile for someone,  etc... That's how we measure true holiness. That's how we become sanctified people.

 

But we must remember an important factor. All of my actions between man and man, must still be done on God's terms, and not on my own. Because once the mitzvos become dependent on my own emotions, needs, or satisfaction, Im entering the dangerous zone of following the Torah out of convenience and not out of obligation. This leads to Selective Judasim.

So, for all of you out there who are trying to change the world, here's an idea. Let's try forgiving someone who wronged us and not bearing a grudge or not taking revenge, and watch the world transform into one of true holiness. 

 

Have a beautiful Shabbos,

Yaffa

The Message Of Pesach

With sincere apologies to Parshas Acharei Mos, this week we'll be discussing the upcoming yom tov of Pesach.

This is not gonna be one of those ¨Pesach is about cleaning the chametz, not cleaning the chandelier¨ posts. 

But, it is true that when simply hearing the word Pesach, many of us transform into some kind of unrecognizable form of ourselves. Even if the P word is mentioned in July.

Panic, anxiety, and hyperventilation creep up on us, and though we try to bury the negative feelings, sometimes a tad of loathing comes to join the emotional party.

 

Is this really what Pesach is supposed to be like? Somehow I don't think God had intended that this holy and delightful holiday become a turn-off to all family members living with a harried pre Pesach woman.  

Our families were not meant to be the karban pesach.

We are commanded to get rid of the chametz. Period. No need to remove the curtains, paint the house, or go through picture albums from the 80´s. You´re not missing much anyway in those albums, it´s just a bunch of hairspray and leg warmers.

And when was the last time you ate your peanut butter sandwich while hanging from the chandelier?

Exactly.

So, I´m going to take just a few minutes to focus on what Pesach is and to stay away from what it's not.

Pesach, in a nutshell.
Hehe.

The Jews were set free from two hundred and ten years of bitter slavery. The possuk writes that they left Egypt bechipazon, in a rush, and if they would not have left at the exact moment that they did, they would not have been worthy of leaving at all!
At this point, the Jews as a nation, were on the forty ninth level of impurity. Had they stayed in that morally depraved country for another minute they would´ve fallen down to the fiftieth level, the lowest possible one, disabling their redemption permanently.

Ok. I have a problem with this. After taking two hundred and ten years for them to fall down to the forty ninth level, remaining in the curruption for three and a half seconds longer would cause them to fall down a whole nother level?

Rabbi Akiva Tatz says, it wasn´t the Egyptian influence that would have caused their descent. The offense would have been an internal one. It would have been the waiting, itself.

Laziness. Procrastination. 

Had they decided to first finish the game they were playing, or finish a conversation with someone, take a nap before the trip, or even finish the bread they were baking, they would have been guilty of procrastination. They couldn't even stop to take a salvation selfie!
Because that moment of procrastination would have been a transgression so great that it would have rendered them...and us...slaves, forever and ever.
That´s a frightening thought.  
My name would probably be Yafhadenijad.  I wouldn´t even know how to spell that.

Bechipazon. THAT was the second to act, and not a moment later.

I once missed out on an opportunity to suggest a shidduch between two people, because I moved too slowly. I was very young and felt intimidated to call. I had this excuse, and that one. On the day that I finally decided to do it, I heard the news: They had gotten engaged! To each other! 

I had lost that irreplaceable mitzvah. And the shadchanus money.
 

I have another question. 

We all understand the reason we have to eat matzoh on Pesach, but why do we have to get rid of all the chametz? On sukkos we move into the  sukkah, but we don't have to destroy our homes while eating in it!

So why isn't it enough to just eat matzoh- why are we commanded to get rid of all the chametz as well? 

I have another question.  
Why do we start counting the omer on the second night of Pesach and not on the first?

Ok, I´m gonna be very Jewish for a minute, and answer my questions with another question.

What's the difference between chametz and matzah?

Look at their spelling. They both have a mem,and tzadi. But their third letters are different. One has a ches, and the other, a hei. The difference between a ches and a hei, is just a teeny tiny line. But that minuscule line is the entire difference between the two.

Now, check out their ingredients. Flour, and water. They're both made out of the same exact things.

Being that both of these items are so similar, it arouses my curiosity that eating one of them on Pesach is such a great mitzvah, and eating the other is such a great aveirah.

So, what exactly is the halachik difference between the two? 

1- Time factor. For the matzah to be kosher, it has to be completely finished within eighteen minutes. Otherwise, it's  chametz.  
It needs to be made immediately. 
No procrastinating. No being lazy.

2- Constant work. As long as the dough is being kneaded consistently, it's good to go. When you stop kneading it and leave it to sit around, it starts to rise a bit, causing it to become chametz. 
No procrastinating. No being lazy.

Everything in the physical world is mirrored in the spiritual world. Cleaning for physical crumbs in all the cracks and crevices of the home is meant to reflect cleaning the hidden corners within ourselves to get rid of spiritual crumbs.
  
 Matzah is simple and humble. The only way for it to lose that status is through lack of movement and work. 

We, too are born simple and humble. But if we let ourselves sit around, we stop working on ourselves, and we become chametz. Because when we sit, when we´re spiritually lazy, we start rising. Our ego's naturally get pumped with helium. We become arrogant.

Throughout the year we are obligated to remember our stay in egypt and our negative experience there, but we can be surrounded by chametz while doing so.

On Pesach, we have to concentrate so intensely on what happened in Egypt, that we can't be distracted by the chamtez. Nothing can get in the way of our focus on The message of Pesach. 

The message of Pesach is so important that we cannot even focus on the highlight of history, the essence of who we are, the day of matan Torah!  

That´s why we count the omer starting on the second day of Pesach instead of the first, so that our focus on the seder night can be purely on the message of the chag.

The message of Pesach is TIME MANAGEMENT. 
Physically, as well as spiritually, we gotta move immediately and consistently.

Remember the famous story of Rabbi Akiva? He eventually became the greatest Torah teacher of all time. But in order to achieve that status, his selfless and devoted wife, Rochelle, encouraged him to travel to a top yeshiva where he can study away from home and uninterrupted for twelve years. 
As arranged, he returned home after being away that long, and as he approached his house, he heard his wife having a conversation inside with a neighbor. The neighbor, clearly impressed with her sacrifice and determination, asked her how she would react if her husband walked through the door and announced that he wants to return the yeshiva for another twelve years.
Her response? GO!

Rabbi Akiva heard her answer, and without missing a beat, turned 180 degrees, and his destination became one with his original departure.  He stayed at the yeshiva for another twelve years, becoming the preeminent Torah teacher that he was, and molding 24,000 students into true talmidei chachamim and future Torah teachers.

There´s one little detail that always bothered me about that very inspiring story. He didn´t see his wife for twelve flippin years! Couldn´t he just go in and say hello? Couldn´t he drink a cup of coffee with her before departing again? 

After learning about bechipazon, I have my answer. 
No. He couldn´t. 
Had he gone in to see his wife, he may never have left again.
Rabbi Akiva knew that he needed to make a split second decision. It´s now or never.  

THAT was the second to act, and not a moment later. 

One more question, just to fill up your seder with lots of ´em. What does chametz have to do with the avoda of pesach? Why doesn't chametz interfere with Rosh Hashana, or Shabbos?

  
 The only time we have an obligation from the Torah to educate our children, is at the Pesach seder. As a matter of fact, that is the entire point of Pesach. V'heegadita l´bincha... Transmission to children.  

At the seder, we do everything just for the kids to ask and learn. But, a person cannot transmit when he has gaava, arrogance. 

 Because an arrogant person doesn't listen to anyone, and therefore doesn´t learn from anyone. And he can't connect with those that he's teaching.

A person can only teach something to others when he has humility.

And, this is why, right after we learn the message of Pesach from Rabbi Akiva, each of his 24,000 students fell sick and left this world. 

Why did they die? They lacked respect for each other. They didn’t hold each other and each others’ knowledge with the proper esteem and regard.
Because of that lack of humility and respect, they were unable to properly transmit the Torah and therefore had to be disqualified.

Time management. 
The time is now.

It seems like a message so simple and insignificant for a holiday as grand as Pesach. 

Simple? Indeed it is. It´s that little miniscule line causing the hei to become a ches.  
It´s that little mitzvah that I lost forever.
It´s that little split second decision of doing something now...or perhaps never.

Chametz or matzah. Arrogance or humility. Life or death.

Insignificant? Indeed it is...if you´d rather still be living in Egypt and wearing a vintage burka.
 

Btw, I used blue ink this week because I'm in middle of cleaning out my black ink cartridge for Pesach.

Have a great shabbos and a chag kasher v'sameach.

The Blessing of Beautiful Eyes

The eyes are the window to the soul. 

At least that's what people say. 

I believe it to be true, though, because when I am with someone who has no distractions to them, when all other body parts are hidden and only their face is exposed, I can see the essence of who they are through their eyes.
But we're not here to talk about the beauty of modesty and its ironic attraction. 
We're here to talk about a metaphoric eye. Sorta.

This week's parsha, Metzora, speaks about the epidemic of tzaraat, leprosy. 
Tzaraat is a skin malady that is contracted as a result of engaging in any form of gossip. 
The parsha discusses its causes, symptoms and purification process.

As part of the purification process, the kohen has to personally check the wounds and determine whether or not the rash has healed. In reference to that procedure, in a case where the person suffering has not been cured, the possuk writes, "v'henei lo hafoch ha nega et einav",  the blemish has not changed its eye. 

The blemish has not changed its eye. 

Its eye?

Is it just me, or is this wording a little weird? Why can't it just say that the person has not been healed? Or that the ailment has not yet run its course? But, 'the blemish has not changed its eye?'

Here's what I'm thinking. Since there is not a word in the Torah that is extra, nor are there any mistakes in it, there must be a significant reason why the word ayin, eye, was used here.

There are many different ways to describe the tzaraat, and interestingly the word that was chosen to refer to the leprosy in this possuk, is nega.  
Nun, gimel, ayin.
Nega is a bruise, a pain, a discomfort.

If you change around its letters, you get another Hebrew word which may sound familiar to you: Oneg.
Ayin, nun, gimel.
Oneg means pleasure.

The kohen was not only giving the victim a prognosis; he was teaching him a lesson. He was explaining to him why he has not been cured, and for that matter, why a person contracts this condition in the first place.

What's the reason we speak loshon horah? 
The deeper, more introspective reasons are connected to issues of low self esteem, jealousy, and other emotional packages we have weighing us down. But since I don't get paid by the hour, I'm not getting into all that psychology right now.
I'm going to discuss the very basic cause of gossip. The reason we gossip is so simple, it's often totally overlooked.
We speak loshon horah because we are looking at our target with negativity. We are looking at life, at people, at situations, through a lense tinted with negativity, judgement, and pessimism.

Think negative, speak negative, feel negative. 
Think positive, speak positive, feel positive.

It's the War of the Worlds: 
Ayin Tov vs Ayin Ra. 
It's more than just an abstract idea. How do I actually begin to feel positive towards another person? It's about judging favorably. Giving the benefit of the doubt even when your version seems far fetched and unlikely. 
It's about forgiveness. Forgiving others for making mistakes, for being human, for reacting out of their own insecurities and uncertainties. 
It's about celebrating others' triumphs and successes. Being genuinely happy for them when they share their good news, when they get promoted, or when they purchase a gorgeous pair of shoes that you can't afford.
 It means removing grudges and jealousy, and always judging people favorably.

Our reaction to life, to people, and to situations is completely controlled by our view and perception.
Viewing the world with an ayin tov, a positive eye, can make life a much more pleasant place for us, as well as for all the people around us. It will also attract positivity into our lives. 

It's all about perception.

Rain.
Is rain a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, that depends who you ask. 
For a farmer, it's the biggest blessing in the world. For a girl who just walked out of the salon after spending an hour on her hair, it is not such a blessing.

Having a positive disposition in life will not change your circumstances. But it will allow you to cope with anything that comes your way. And it will affect your mood, your reaction, and your quality of life.

So, let's take the word nega. Now, take the word oneg. There is only one tiny difference between these two: It all depends where you put the ayin.

A person can choose to have a life of nega. A life of pain, discomfort, and negativity. 
Or, a person can choose to have a life of oneg. A life of pleasure, enjoyment, and positivity.

There is only one tiny difference between these two lives: It all depends where you put your ayin.

Have a beautiful shabbos!
Yaffa

How Do I Know What My Mission Is?

Is it just me or do you also save the best food on your plate for last? I know it's not just me. But I think I figured out the original source for this behavior. 

The possuk says, אשה כי תזריע וילדה זכר, A woman conceives and gives birth to a boy.  The significance of this is to teach us the laws of purity and impurity, and that after she gives birth she will be impure for seven days. 

Reish Lakish takes this possuk and refers us back to the time of creation, when a human being was initially created. If you go through the story of that era, you will notice that only after every creation was brought to life was the human created. And since all the creations are here to serve the human, it seems odd that they appear before him. 
Before we get to the point, realize that man was created chronologically last. Because God saved the best for last. 
And I'm not kidding. 
Because although we were created last, we are first in importance. 
The human is the epitome of the world. The crown of creation. 

So why are we last? 

Reish Lakish explains the importance of this order. He says that if a person uses his full potential in life, then he earns his place as first in importance, but if not, then even a lowly worm precedes him. 

Um. Say what? 
Seriously? A worm can come out ahead of me? No matter what I do with my life, aren't I way above an insignificant little worm?

Actually, no. The greater the creation, the greater its potential. A lowly earthworm was created to slither around on its tummy and eat dirt. Just by existing it fulfills its potential. Obviously the potential that I possess is so much greater, and therefore so much harder to reach. So, if it is not reached, then the worm comes out ahead simply because he has fulfilled his mission and I didn't. 
Pretty embarrassing. 

So we need to understand how to reach those heights that we were made to reach. 
There are some people who work just to eat and then eat just to have energy to work. They work to make a living and then live just to work for that living. 
And that's it. That's their entire purpose of existence. 

Then there are those who realize that they have an important tool that's needed in order to make the world a better place when they leave it than when they entered it. And they wanna know how to do that. 

I get asked this question at least every week. "How do I know what my mission is? How do I know if I'm fulfilling my potential?"
And this is what I tell them. 
We have two missions in life. The first is תיכון עולמי and the second is תיכון עצמי. We need to perfect the world, and perfect ourselves. And we need to do both at the same time. 
Look inside yourself and become familiar with everything you see there. Learn about your strengths and weaknesses. What makes me tick? What makes me laugh? What makes me feel frustrated? Satisfied? Warm and fuzzy? 
Am I a people person? Am I an organizer? 
Once we know what our talents are and which things speak to us, we look around at our families, communities, and even at the world, and see what we can contribute to them based on their needs and on our abilities. 
Then, while focusing on the positive and starting to make a real difference in the world, we need to return inside ourselves and perfect our weaknesses as well.  

Focusing solely on our shortcomings causes frustration and depression. 
Focusing solely on our strengths encourages arrogance and complacency. 
It needs to be a joint effort. 

How long does it take to get there? As long as you're still in this world, there's more to do. 
אשר ברא אלוקים לעשת
Hashem created this world to DO. To accomplish. To fix. To create. 
Wanna take a rest? When you get to the next world. There you can rest. In peace. 

Have a beautiful shabbos!
Yaffa

Hard is Bad, Easy is Good. Right?

There is a common denominator between two of the big topics discussed in the parsha this week. Parshas Shmini speaks about the sudden death of the two holy sons of Aharon, and then it moves on to the laws of kashrut, the foods that are permissible and prohibited for us to consume.

The common denominator between the two, is one word. One word with lots of exclamation points and question marks.

WHY?!?!?!

Why do good people die young?

Why do bad things even happen to good people? Shouldn’t the good be rewarded with good and the bad be rewarded with bad? Isn’t that just logical?

While we’re on the topic of suffering... why can’t I eat my ice cream right after my chicken?! I gotta eat dessert six hours after my meal?

One thing I’ll tell you for sure: keeping kosher is the best diet out there. There is no nutritionist in the world who can get me to wait six hours to eat my ice cream.

But…why?

When Aharon found out about the deaths of his sons, he reacted by remaining silent. How can a human being possess that amount of inner strength, to accept such deep pain and such terrible suffering as God’s will, without even a question or a doubt?

Aharon had no doubt in his mind or heart that Hashem runs the world, and that everything He does is for our best. He knew it was a package deal. He knew that if Hashem is in charge of the good times, he is also there in the hard times.

I’m not going to expand upon the topic of faith now, nor am I going to discuss the important point about us humans not completely understanding what good is and what bad is.

We tend to associate something hard with something bad, and something easy with something good.

Many times it’s actually the opposite.

Eating an extra piece of chocolate cake is easy. Working out at the gym is hard.

Which is good for me, and which is bad?

The first thing we need to realize is that just because something is hard, it doesn’t make it bad, and just because something is easy, by no means is it automatically good.

I believe that Aharon was trying to teach us a vital message.

Every day we find ourselves entangled in a conflict of wills.

My will versus His will.  

Emotions versus intellect.

Body versus soul.

If every time I choose right over wrong I get a hundred dollars deposited into my bank account, I will obviously keep choosing good.

If every time I speak loshon horah my tongue freezes for an hour, I will likely not choose that path again.

If I get repaid with obvious good for every good deed, or suffer openly each time I choose wrongly, I will no longer be functioning through free will. None of my decisions will have a moral backing. I will always choose good to get rewarded or to avoid getting punished, but my choice will have nothing to do with my desire to do or be good.

In order to maintain a world of true freedom, there have to be situations that appear random, that are difficult to understand.  If God were predictable or comprehensible, what kind of God would He be?

He gave us life, and along with it the opportunity to live it the way we choose to. The way to happiness is through choices and challenges. Through mistakes, regret, and growth.

 Repaying good with immediate and obvious good, and bad with immediate and obvious bad will remove all of our free will from the world, and diminish challenges and satisfaction.

There have been an excess amount of tragedies over the past few weeks, and Aharon’s message could not have come at a better time.

No, we don’t understand these tragedies. But we’re not supposed to.  

Aharon taught us through his acceptance and unwavering faith, that belief in Hashem is a package deal. He is in charge of the positive as well as the negative. And it’s done on purpose, to allow us to live our lives the way we choose to live them, and to experience the highest level of growth and happiness through it.

Now, what does all of this have to do with my ice cream?

Mitzvos are not always convenient, nor are they easy to do. Respecting a mitzvah only when it’s convenient for us is egotistical and lowers its level of greatness. But keeping it when we don’t understand it, or when we don’t like it too much, raises it to a level of altruism and allows us to follow the Torah without any ulterior motives, and for one reason only:

Because GSS.

God Said So.

Period.

So, I don’t understand why I can’t eat ice cream after meat, and it isn’t easy to tie up my vocal chords in front of men, and it’s inconvenient to cover my knees at the beach. But it’s a package deal. Hashem is in charge, and having proper bitachon means knowing without a shadow of a doubt that everything He does and everything He asks of us is for our good.

Have a beautiful shabbos!

Yaffa